This month, I started taking an online course to deepen my expertise in a field near and dear to my heart: serving as a thought partner for my clients as they age. The course will leave me with an “Elder Care Specialist” designation and, ideally, equip me with better ways to serve my client families, whether they’re caregiving for a loved one or experiencing the last quarter of their lives.
Given this focus, the following article resonated deeply with some of the opportunities and challenges of this age and stage, and I hope it does for you, too.
Journey Into Elderhood: Embracing the Fourth Age
It’s not uncommon for individuals to avoid thinking about growing old because it conjures up feelings of dread and anxiety along with images of inactivity, sadness, and decline. The truth is, however, that life can remain rich, satisfying, and meaningful as you age. Each life stage offers challenges but incredible rewards as well.
Therefore, it is important to view “old age” as one of many transitions in a continuum of life experiences. Those who navigate well through other life transitions will likely have the same experience as they move through the various phases of growing older. The skills, values, interests, and attitudes you accumulate along your life’s journey will continue to serve you well in later life.
The secret to successful aging is to always maintain a “future focus” by acknowledging the impact of choices made today on your life in the future. In addition, it is important to seek growth and development in all areas of life throughout adulthood. Those who do will more likely find old age to be a meaningful and purposeful stage of life.
Changing Lifespan Realities and Adding the Fourth Age
Many experts on aging believe that increasing longevity has moved us from the well-accepted three-stage model of the lifespan (youth, adulthood, and old age) to a four-stage model (youth, adulthood, young-old age, and old-old age). In addition, gerontologists and human development specialists alike are increasingly referring to the “young-old” period of life as the Third Age and the “old-old” period of life as the Fourth Age.
The Third Age is typified by an active lifestyle and countless opportunities for new adventures, intellectual stimulation, personal growth, and meaningful contributions. In fact, most Third Agers reject the notion that retirement is synonymous with leisure and instead make a plan to transition to “work” (paid or unpaid) that they find personally rewarding and meaningful (see our related blog, “The Role of ‘Work’ in Retirement). In her book, Don’t Stop the Career Clock, Helen Harkness Ph.D. wrote,
“By knowing what we want and doing what we love, we can continue life’s journey with creativity, wisdom, power, and purpose.”
Although it is impossible to assign specific age boundaries, we generally think of the Third Age as ranging from 60 to 80 years old. The Fourth Age usually commences when changing health, capabilities, and circumstances require lifestyle adjustments. However, the Fourth Age is also signaled by a change in focus and perspective: whereas the Third Age is identified by action, the Fourth Age is defined by reflection.
Embracing “Elderhood”
Likewise, many experts on aging promote the concept of Elderhood—a role in later life that brings a deep sense of meaning and purpose. But what does it really mean to be an Elder? What experiences do we seek as an Elder, and what qualities do we strive to cultivate? Barry Balkan, co-founder of the Live Oak Institute, describes an Elder in a way that clarifies the characteristics, rewards, and responsibilities of Elderhood:
“An Elder is a person who is still growing, still a learner, still with potential, and whose life continues to have within it, promise for and connection to the future. An Elder is still in pursuit of happiness, joy and pleasure, and her or his birthright to these remains intact. Moreover, an Elder is a person who deserves respect and honor and whose work is to synthesize wisdom from long life experience and formulate this into a legacy for future generations.”
As you think about yourself in the Fourth Age, it is essential that you visualize and identify the various components you want to include in your life composition. In fact, the greater your understanding of what is truly most important to you, the easier it will be to “paint a picture” in your mind of what you want your life to look like as you grow older and what you want your legacy to reflect.
Maintaining a Future Focus in the Fourth Age
Always remember that the secret to realizing your hopes and dreams is to maintain a “future focus.” This perspective will not only help you to keep a positive outlook, but will also require you to acknowledge the influence of choices made today on your life in the future.
There is a lot of truth to the old saying, “if you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.” As you plan and prepare for your Elderhood, it is important to envision and articulate the various elements you want to include in your life composition. Whatever you identify and claim for yourself will become the internal compass of your life by consciously and subconsciously guiding all the big and little decisions you make along your life’s journey.
Reprinted by permission of Money Quotient, Inc.
